Ugh. I hate waiting! I hate waiting for packages, I hate waiting to lose weight, I hate waiting to hear back from my mortgage company about whether or not I'll be able to afford my house....shitake I hate waiting until tomorrow for a sale! I want everything and I want it all right now. I'm not usually this impatient..I'm really not. I just feel like I've been waiting FOREVER and I'm just done!
I've decided I'm done, DONE being so large. As I said on twitter "I'm ready to have my 24 in waist back and have only one chin again" and I SO am. I am not this person. I feel like I'm hiding under a thick layer of fat. Trying to hide from the world...only to realize, there is no way to hide..especially when you've got facebook, twitter, a blog an online store to keep up. I feel like I gave up on myself, like I didn't need to look good because I didn't want anyone looking...
I used to look like this..
Look how scrawny my legs were. These were juniors size 11 pants and I only had to get an 11 because my hips are so wide, that shirt is an XS..I want THIS back. As much as I hated when guys used to hit on me...I haven't been hit on in 2 years....yeah, it feels like shitake.Look at my calves here...The skirt is a 26 in waist and it was a little baggy.
...compaired with my calves now....Honestly...I feel ashamed.. I mean I thought I would be better than this at keeping on top of my weight....I just got lazy I guess.
Clavicles! Oh how I miss them..You can tell I've gained weight here but I'm still SO much teenier than I am now.. I was still wearing juniors sizes. This suit is an XS/S Vintage size 12! I can't even look at a size 12 now a days. I used to complain about that "belly" I called it my 21-gut.
Here I am in a vintage size 14/16 after I lost weight for my wedding. This was nice..but I still need to get back down..down where I can wear my own vintage clothing...I currently have 3 dresses out to Solanah, she is modeling them and sending them back...there wasn't anything I couldn't squeeze into back in the day. I even squeezed into a 22 in white pencil skirt...trust me I remember how TIGHT it was..ha-ha
Now I have a hard time squeezing into a 28 inch waist. I have 2 things that are a 27 that I just can't suck in enough to wear...Sorry for the depressing post. I'm not looking to be debbie downer! I'm just DONE. My hubs and I are both dieting now. He wants to do some yoga and I want to do strength training (opposites much) I may lose my boobs....but my teeny waist will be worth the sadness upstairs.
...I think my extra weight has added about 10 years to my face too...I'm only 25..why do I look almost 40?
Ok I'm done yammering on I guess. Wish me luck, this time I'm really going to lose the weight. I WILL!